I’m OK, You’re OK

Somedays that’s all we need to know

I’m Not Ready Yet! March 12, 2009

Filed under: family,love,ponderings,ZombieMom — meandmom @ 5:32 pm
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The Daughter is 12.  She has been 12 for 1 whole month.  That’s it.  One. Month.  And already everything is different.  Ever.y.thing!

Apparently, I was the only mom in the entire school district who didn’t let their 6th grader wear makeup.  And I was.  All of my friends have buckled to this campaign of breaking down the last bit of tween innocence.  I was holding down the no makeup zone all by myself.  So, I did what every proud role model does.  I caved.  I gave up.  I gave in.  I bought The Daughter makeup for her 12th birthday.  She doesn’t need it.  She’s the kind of gorgeous that you can’t even hate.  She looks like she came straight from Cleopatra via Kim Kardashian.  But sweeter.  And more innocent.  It makes me a little sad everytime she wears it.  Which, of course, is everyday.  But it makes her feel good.  She belongs again.

This has been the year of belonging.  Requirements:  Uggs, a Juicy Couture hoody, a cell phone, make up, 7 jeans.  Thank God for grandparents and Nordstrom Rack!  The Daughter now has one of each.  Not so much that she’s spoiled….oh no, she is a long way off from being spoiled.  Just enough so that she feels like she belongs.

I hate this part of growing up.  This belonging part.  But I remember wanting the same thing.  I remember that my mom, the ultimate rebel, didn’t want to make it a priority and it hurt my feelings.  So we save our money.  We go in halvsies.  We put things on our Christmas and Birthday lists.  We belong.

Only now there is a new requirment.  Facebook.  Once again, all my friends are starting to surrender.  One by one.  I worry about the ability for kids to hurt each other on FB.  I worry about how much faster and easier bad rumors spread.  I worry about how fragile reputations can easily be tarnished.  I worry about the in group/out group mentality of teens that was hard enough to deal with before the likes of texting and Facebook accounts.

So, what’s a mom to do?  This mom tossed and turned all last night.  Until finally I got out of my bed and went to hers.  She slept with me every single night for the first 3 years of her life.  It was the only way she would sleep.  I haven’t slept in the same bed as her since.    I curled up next to her and wept.  I’m not ready.  I’m not ready for her to be her own woman.  I’m not ready for her to encounter heart break and peer pressure.  I’m not ready to let her fight the battles that only she can fight.  Here’s my big problem though…..She is.  She is VERY ready.

So.  Again.  I ask.   What is a mom to do?  Anybody have any answers?  When did you or will you let your kids get a FB account?  How do you discern, as a parent, where the line is drawn between OK kind of belonging (clothes, curfew) and NOT OK kind of belonging (drinking, sex)?

Help a mom out……Hey! Is that a wrinkle hiding there behind the gray hair??

-The Mom


My Problem Should be Everyone’s Problem March 4, 2009

Filed under: ponderings — meandmom @ 6:14 pm
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This morning I was hurrying to put lunches and snacks together while making breakfast before rushing out the door to school then work.  I was frustrated and irritated because things kept falling out of the fridge and I couldn’t figure out which shelf the jam was hiding on and where on earth were the carrots I just bought and….well, you get the idea.

As I stood there with the fridge door open, looking at the shelves bursting with food items, I was suddenly washed with shame.  Everyone should have such a problem today, I thought.  Everyone should have a fridge stuffed with food.  But they don’t.  There are many, many families right now….this very moment…that don’t have the dreadful agony of balancing milk jugs on top of the carton of eggs with the leftovers from last night shoved in the corner.  My heart goes out to those families.

I worry that these are the families I deal with everyday.  I’m a recruiter and I talk with too many people these days that have been waiting too long for a job opportunity to materialize.  I wish I could find them work.  I wish I could fill their fridges.  I wish my problem was their problem too.

-The Mom


Twilight Zone January 30, 2009

Filed under: ponderings,silliness,Uncategorized — meandmom @ 10:33 pm
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Early this morning or maybe late last night, I couldn’t sleep….or maybe I was half asleep…..or maybe, now that I think about it, I was completely asleep and dreaming all of this…

I don’t know, but I think I took a trip to the TWILIGHT ZONE.

As I lay in bed with my half sleep/full sleep/dream state going, my mind was wrapping itself around not one…….not two…..but three really FANTASTIC post ideas. Oh they were good….I mean really, really good. And….I was so proud of myself for having 3 days worth of posts all formulated in my pretty little noggin. All I was going to have to do was type them into my draft file and push “publish” and I was going to rule the blogosphere for Three. Whole. Days.

Then I woke up, got ready, dealt with the tragedy of the lost lunch box, dealt with the 2nd daily tragedy of the lost North Face, made lunch, breakfast, and snack, and put away the dishes from the dishwasher. I dropped off the carpool at the school….yelled silently at the lady that can’t figure out the stop, drop, and roll concept that is the beauty of the “drop off” lane at school, drove to work and then……the magnificence of the posts? E.VAP.OR.ATE.D. like mist from the clouds.   Poof.  Gone.   I can remember one title.  That’s it.   Just one.  Just one title.

My ruling of the blogosphere was so fast and furious that I bet you didn’t even know I was queen, did you?

That’s my reality.  Right there in a nutshell.

-The Mom


Pretty Mrs. Palin October 2, 2008

Filed under: politics,work,ZombieMom — meandmom @ 7:25 pm
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So…. I’m hesitant in even mentioning politics here.  I will throw out the disclaimer that I am NOT announcing any support to any candidate.  I will say however, that Sarah Palin has had a bit of a ride over the past month and I kinda get it.

Last night I tossed and turned as I tried to hold panic at bay.  The news every day sounding worse and worse and more and more bleak certainly doesn’t help.  The Ex has not supported our children financially for the past year and the budget strain is getting overwhelming.  My house is on the market but I have hardly had any lookers much less any buyers.  I love what I do, and the times I make a placement, it is really, really successful.  I just don’t seem to make enough of them, which hinders my ability to increase my income.  My car needs to move on before it breaks down.  yada yada yada.

I tossed and turned and rode the waves of pressure that I am putting on myself.  Up and down and up and down.  Over and over thinking to myself “how did I get myself into this mess???!!!!” 

Around 3:30 in the morning I all of a sudden got really quiet.  For some reason it hit me.  Do you think Sarah Palin is doing the same thing???  I’ll bet she is.  I get it, Sarah.  I get it.  Good luck with that. 

At least mine is in the privacy of my own room and this blog.  So glad the whole nation isn’t talking about it!

-The Mom