I’m OK, You’re OK

Somedays that’s all we need to know

Still here and other stuff May 5, 2009

Filed under: family,ponderings,Uncategorized — meandmom @ 6:54 pm
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I know, I know and I’m sorry….I’ve been neglectful as of late.

Sometimes life just needs to take center stage and blogging needs to wait patiently off to the side.

There has been a lot going on at work…good news in the IT Staffing world!  I have a great sense of pride that the work that I do, right now in this day and age, not only helps my clients and the people I find for them, but it also helps my country.  I love getting people off the unemployment lines and back to work!

The Littlest scored her first soccer goal on Saturday….big fun for her!

Is anybody else over the Swine flue hysteria?  A week from Thursday I am flying down to Cabo San Lucas sans ninos! (without kids – in two different languages no less).  Can I just tell you that right now there are 0 reported cases of Swine Flu on the whole Baja Peninsula.  None. Zip. NADA. Therefore, I should be a lot more scared walking around the state of Washington then I should chillin on the beach in Cabo.  Not to mention that I think the constant intake of smallish quantities of tequila will be a very effective method for killing off any possible bugs.  I’m over the hysteria of the media.  It just kills me.  But hey, I guess it is nice to have everybody stressed about something other than the economy.  So there is that, I suppose.

Here is my biggest news….ready….drum roll…. The week before last I had total vindication in family court!  Can I just tell you that it has taken 2 years and I don’t even want to think about how many dollars worth of legal fees to finally have the court tell the X that dads have to pay child support and all the shenanigans he has pulled over the last 2 years in efforts to avoid that obligation aren’t fooling AN.Y.ONE!

My favorite part of the commissioner’s judgment was when she said to him “your ex wife has built a career for herself, with no previous work experience, with no advanced degree (I have a BA but he has a graduate degree), all the while being the primary parent for the children and without the parental support that you, sir, clearly have and yet you are here to tell me that you want me to assign the wage the court uses for the average 40 year old man in the state of Washington with undocumented income?”  (it is a very low number).  Oh it was wonderful.  Even if I never get paid.  The X and his parents had to listen to the commissioner validate little ole me and rake his sorry behind all over the courtroom.  No, I’m not bitter, just validated.  And oh, it feels so good!

Glad to finally see daylight hours extending past 5:00 in these parts.  Welcome Spring!

All in all, life is still good.  And Me and Mine are still OK.

-The Mom



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Hello Again! Make Me Laugh Monday! April 20, 2009

Have you been wondering what happened to me???

I had a spring break visitor and then I went out of town for a few days and then I took a media break.

I will tell you more about all that later, but today is Make Me Laugh Monday at Jenny on the Spot.

This YouTube video (Thanks Heather) made me smile until I was laughing and full of joy. It comes from Belgium and I wish I had been there to jump in!

Happy Monday! Now run along to see who else shared a funny at Jenny On the Spot!

-The Mom

 

From There to Here March 18, 2009

Filed under: love,Uncategorized — meandmom @ 6:05 pm
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Four years ago today I met a man that would change my life.

It was the first date I had been on in 18 years. That makes me sound old….I’m not really that old.

I was scared. I was nervous. I had no idea what to expect.

He was sweet. And quiet. And interesting. He made me laugh.

There was an instant connection. An instant feeling of security. An instant comfort.

I didn’t go looking for my next “forever” man that night. But I found him anyway. I would never have expected it….honestly, I didn’t even want that.

What do you do when you find the love you’re meant to have even when you aren’t ready for it?

The last 4 years have been full of adventures. The good kind and the bad. We still love each other. Even when he makes me angry, I still want to be with him. Even though I drive him crazy, he can’t bring himself to go.

Now we are trying to figure out what happens next and how to go about the doing of the next. Blending families is a tricky thing and calls for slow, steady movements.

I’m still scared. I’m still nervous. I’m still in love.

Funny how the more things change, the more they stay the same.

-The Mom

 

Luck of the Irish to Ya! March 17, 2009

Filed under: silliness,Uncategorized — meandmom @ 4:23 pm
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An Irish man goes to the pub one day and orders three pints of Guinness. He takes sips from each glass until they are empty and asks the bartender for three more. The bartender says, ‘I can bring ya 3 more but wouldn’t you rather I bring them one at a time so they stay cold?”

‘Nah…’ the man says, ‘ I’d rather ya bring three at a time.  Me and my two brothers used to meet at a pub and drink. Now one is in Australia, the other in Canada and I’m here. We agreed before we split up that we’d drink to each other’s honour this way.’

‘Well,’ says the bartender, ‘that’s a great sentiment.  I’ll bring the 3 pints right away.’

As the days go by, the bartender and the regulars get accustomed to the tradition.  One day the man comes in and orders only two pints. The pub gets quiet. Everyone figures something happened to one of the brothers.  With a heavy heart, the bartender brings the two pints and says, ‘Here are your pints. Let me offer my sincerest condolences. Do ya mind me askin’ what happened?’

The  man looks puzzled for a moment, and then starts laughing.

‘Oh, no! ‘Tis nothing like that.  I’ve given up drinking for Lent!’

An Old Irish Blessing
May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life’s passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours!

Happy St. Patricks’ Day

-The Mom

*with help from http://www.islandireland.com

 

A New Day February 18, 2009

Filed under: family,ponderings — meandmom @ 6:56 pm
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Well now, after the heaviness of my last post, I need to take in a deep breath and just have a big ole belly laugh!   BWAAHHHBWAAAHH!

Much better!  I told you….there are some heavy thoughts running circles in my little pea brain (not much room in there I guess).  When I started this blog it was for my daughter and I to communicate some of those things that divorced families go through.  We haven’t done a TON of that because, although I think it is good for us to do, The Daughter and I are still careful about what we share.  FYI….anything I share here is something that she and I have already discussed in some fashion.

There are tons of families out there that face the hardships of making a new identity for themselves after a divorce.  I would like this to be a place where kids or moms or dads could know that they are not suffering through their process by themselves. And that everyone in the family has their own perspective and their own hurts, worries, concerns.

People sometimes raise their eyebrows at me over the fact that I include The Daughter in this discussion.  Here’s the thing, when I was 14 my parents divorced.  My mom and dad were very tight lipped about everything, just like they were told to be.  I understand the need for a lot of that, I do.  However, It was also very confusing to us kids as to why there was so much tension and frustration and why our parents couldn’t even tolerate being in the same room anymore and on and on and on.

I’ve chosen a more open, but careful, dialogue with The Daughter.  Part of that is based on my experience, part of that is based on her overly mature personality.  It might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it is working for us.  It’s important for kids to understand that their parents are people too.  And you know what?  Divorce hurts.  It hurts everyone.  Even Mommy.  Even Daddy.  And you know what?  It’s okay to hurt.  It’s not fun, but it’s part of life and we need to learn how to get through it.  It would have been helpful to me to understand that when I was going through it as a kid.

That being said…part of being ok is not dwelling on the tough stuff all the time.  So sometimes I want this to be a space just to talk about life, show pictures and silly videos,  and meet and communicate with new friends.

In that vain…..

The other day I finished my taxes and got them filed….yeah for me and for tax returns!  My own little economic stimulus package!  I also filed away all of the end of the year paperwork.  There is something very satisfying for me in that.  I love tidy little piles and things buttoned up tight and clean.  I feel that the hardships of 2008 are behind me and the goodness of 2009 is only waiting to happen.

Enjoy the DAY!

-The Mom

 

Today, Dedicated to the one I Love….. February 12, 2009

Filed under: family,love,Uncategorized — meandmom @ 6:50 pm
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I remember that night 12 years ago…….

I didn’t think my stomach pains were really contractions…of course I was in denial about much of my pregnancy.

I remember calling Grandma who lived in Germany at the time.  They called her out of class to come to the phone….you know that she had told the office staff that her first grandchild was due any day, so they were waiting.  There were no cell phones then.

I remember the sound of her voice when I told her I was going to head the hospital.  She had kept her bag packed in her car, ready and waiting for my call.

I remember it was cold and rainy at 11:00 at night on February 11th.

I remember they didn’t want to let me stay at the hospital because they felt I wasn’t close enough to delivery.  By this time, the contractions were regular and strong.  No denial anymore!

I remember saying to your dad “I don’t care if we just wait in the lobby, I’m not going home”.  I knew we were closer to delivery and that I would just turn around and come right back if we even got home.  I was right.

I remember that I would fall into sleep (or was it unconsiousness) between contractions as I lay in the warm bathtub.

I remember that when it was time to get out of the bathtub to get ready for delivery I thougt I was going to die!

I remember having to wear an oxygen mask because your heart rate started dropping.  That is a really weird sensation (not to mention uncomfortable) when you are trying to give birth.

I remember pushing so hard that I actually threw up.

I remember the most incredible moment….when you were finally placed on my stomach.  There are no words for that moment.

I remember the look in your eyes as you tried to take in this new world.

I remember when your Grandma got to the hospital, remarkably only a couple of hours after your birth.

I remember how she looked when she held her first grandchild for the first time.  She didn’t know you were a girl until that moment.

I remember the crack in her voice after I asked her if it would be okay to name you after her.

I remember those first quiet months of being at home with you all small and sweet and sleepy.

A few weekends ago I sat next to a man with a 3 month old on his lap.  She was fighting sleep and I watched as her eyelids got heavier and heavier….it took me straight back to those days.  Oh yes, I remember.

They always say it goes so fast.  It does.  It is unbelievable that you are 12 years old today.  Was that day really more than a decade ago?

You are everything I prayed for.  Everything I hoped you would be and more.  You are a beautiful girl, Daughter.  I am so proud of you…how you conduct yourself, what your goals are, how you care about the people in your life.

I love you more than I could ever accurately express with a written word.  Have the happiest Birthday ever!

-The Mom

mary

 

Another quickie! February 4, 2009

Filed under: helpful tidbits!,silliness — meandmom @ 5:05 pm
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I loves me a brainless, funny chick flick with all the top girlie talent in it and that’s why I’m looking forward to the release of “He’s Not that Into You”. This is just the kind of film that a girl needs sometimes, ya know?

No body makin’ ya think too hard….no crying….no car crashes….just silliness.

Right now, too celebrate the new release, Jenny on the Spot is offering a great giveaway!

GO! Go Now! Leave a comment! Don’t! You might win a CD! Leave it alone, it’s mine! And a hoodie! Forget about it!

Truly….go check out Jenny…she’s a hoot and a hottie and she’ll make you smile.

-The Mom