I’m OK, You’re OK

Somedays that’s all we need to know

Still here and other stuff May 5, 2009

Filed under: family,ponderings,Uncategorized — meandmom @ 6:54 pm
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I know, I know and I’m sorry….I’ve been neglectful as of late.

Sometimes life just needs to take center stage and blogging needs to wait patiently off to the side.

There has been a lot going on at work…good news in the IT Staffing world!  I have a great sense of pride that the work that I do, right now in this day and age, not only helps my clients and the people I find for them, but it also helps my country.  I love getting people off the unemployment lines and back to work!

The Littlest scored her first soccer goal on Saturday….big fun for her!

Is anybody else over the Swine flue hysteria?  A week from Thursday I am flying down to Cabo San Lucas sans ninos! (without kids – in two different languages no less).  Can I just tell you that right now there are 0 reported cases of Swine Flu on the whole Baja Peninsula.  None. Zip. NADA. Therefore, I should be a lot more scared walking around the state of Washington then I should chillin on the beach in Cabo.  Not to mention that I think the constant intake of smallish quantities of tequila will be a very effective method for killing off any possible bugs.  I’m over the hysteria of the media.  It just kills me.  But hey, I guess it is nice to have everybody stressed about something other than the economy.  So there is that, I suppose.

Here is my biggest news….ready….drum roll…. The week before last I had total vindication in family court!  Can I just tell you that it has taken 2 years and I don’t even want to think about how many dollars worth of legal fees to finally have the court tell the X that dads have to pay child support and all the shenanigans he has pulled over the last 2 years in efforts to avoid that obligation aren’t fooling AN.Y.ONE!

My favorite part of the commissioner’s judgment was when she said to him “your ex wife has built a career for herself, with no previous work experience, with no advanced degree (I have a BA but he has a graduate degree), all the while being the primary parent for the children and without the parental support that you, sir, clearly have and yet you are here to tell me that you want me to assign the wage the court uses for the average 40 year old man in the state of Washington with undocumented income?”  (it is a very low number).  Oh it was wonderful.  Even if I never get paid.  The X and his parents had to listen to the commissioner validate little ole me and rake his sorry behind all over the courtroom.  No, I’m not bitter, just validated.  And oh, it feels so good!

Glad to finally see daylight hours extending past 5:00 in these parts.  Welcome Spring!

All in all, life is still good.  And Me and Mine are still OK.

-The Mom


My Problem Should be Everyone’s Problem March 4, 2009

Filed under: ponderings — meandmom @ 6:14 pm
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This morning I was hurrying to put lunches and snacks together while making breakfast before rushing out the door to school then work.  I was frustrated and irritated because things kept falling out of the fridge and I couldn’t figure out which shelf the jam was hiding on and where on earth were the carrots I just bought and….well, you get the idea.

As I stood there with the fridge door open, looking at the shelves bursting with food items, I was suddenly washed with shame.  Everyone should have such a problem today, I thought.  Everyone should have a fridge stuffed with food.  But they don’t.  There are many, many families right now….this very moment…that don’t have the dreadful agony of balancing milk jugs on top of the carton of eggs with the leftovers from last night shoved in the corner.  My heart goes out to those families.

I worry that these are the families I deal with everyday.  I’m a recruiter and I talk with too many people these days that have been waiting too long for a job opportunity to materialize.  I wish I could find them work.  I wish I could fill their fridges.  I wish my problem was their problem too.

-The Mom


Letting go September 26, 2008

Filed under: work,ZombieMom — meandmom @ 9:28 pm
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Lately I’ve been struggling with what i though life would be.  I read this post from Conversion Diary and it really socked it to me today.  I had thought I found “my calling”….to be the best mom I could be.  When I got divorced my definition of what that looked like really had to change.  Going back to work was something I didn’t want to do.  Ever.  I am not a child of my generation.  I could care less for career paths and professional success.  Don’t get me wrong, I loves me some hard work and a successful endeavor.  I just always wanted those activities to be involved with volunteering in school, church or community.

My idea of a great mom was someone that was always available when needed.  Cookies and milk after school.  Helping in the classroom and going on field trips.  Clean house.  Clean clothes.  Knowing all of my kids’ friends and their families.  For my own little house, I did not think I could be a great mom if I spent the majority of my day working.

I have to admit, there are many days that I am jealous and resentful of the SAHMs in my neighborhood.  I don’t like shoving ALL my mommying into the hours between 6 and 9 pm while also cooking, cleaning, and laundering.  I know it’s not YOUR fault.  It’s still not fair.  Oh! Everyone say hi to the 5 year old that I just morphed into for a second.

I have been feeling that “my purpose” had been yanked away from me.  Jen reminded me that I really just need to re-define what a great mom is.  So….how many things can we list that define a great mom?  I’ll start!

1. Surviving with a smile on my face and hope in my heart one day at a time

2. Teaching my children to work on my team instead of against it

3. Always remembering to say I love you at the end of the day.  And in the middle.  And in the beginning.

4. Knowing that 3 hours of really good mommying is just as good as 12 hours of really good mommying


Also….what is a great mom NOT?

1. Someone who feels a slave to the gourmet dinner menu

2. Someone who worries more about the cleanliness of her house than the joyfulness of her kids

3. Someone who hides jealousy and self pity in her heart

(By the way, the NOT list isn’t to judge others so much as it is to help me let go and re-define.  Slave away Martha, slave away).

Can you help me add to my list?  I think I need the village as much as my girls do!

Oh and a very big THANKS to my immediate village.  My friends and neighbors that watch my kids at a moment’s notice, even when they are sick.  The ones who share a glass of wine or two or five ok just two  let me come and vent when I need to.  Who remind me when I’ve left my garage door open.  Who let me borrow things from their kitchen so I don’t have to run to the grocery store.  etc., etc, etc,   You know who you are!  I truly could not have lived through the last 4 redefining years without you!

-The Mom