I remember that night 12 years ago…….
I didn’t think my stomach pains were really contractions…of course I was in denial about much of my pregnancy.
I remember calling Grandma who lived in Germany at the time. They called her out of class to come to the phone….you know that she had told the office staff that her first grandchild was due any day, so they were waiting. There were no cell phones then.
I remember the sound of her voice when I told her I was going to head the hospital. She had kept her bag packed in her car, ready and waiting for my call.
I remember it was cold and rainy at 11:00 at night on February 11th.
I remember they didn’t want to let me stay at the hospital because they felt I wasn’t close enough to delivery. By this time, the contractions were regular and strong. No denial anymore!
I remember saying to your dad “I don’t care if we just wait in the lobby, I’m not going home”. I knew we were closer to delivery and that I would just turn around and come right back if we even got home. I was right.
I remember that I would fall into sleep (or was it unconsiousness) between contractions as I lay in the warm bathtub.
I remember that when it was time to get out of the bathtub to get ready for delivery I thougt I was going to die!
I remember having to wear an oxygen mask because your heart rate started dropping. That is a really weird sensation (not to mention uncomfortable) when you are trying to give birth.
I remember pushing so hard that I actually threw up.
I remember the most incredible moment….when you were finally placed on my stomach. There are no words for that moment.
I remember the look in your eyes as you tried to take in this new world.
I remember when your Grandma got to the hospital, remarkably only a couple of hours after your birth.
I remember how she looked when she held her first grandchild for the first time. She didn’t know you were a girl until that moment.
I remember the crack in her voice after I asked her if it would be okay to name you after her.
I remember those first quiet months of being at home with you all small and sweet and sleepy.
A few weekends ago I sat next to a man with a 3 month old on his lap. She was fighting sleep and I watched as her eyelids got heavier and heavier….it took me straight back to those days. Oh yes, I remember.
They always say it goes so fast. It does. It is unbelievable that you are 12 years old today. Was that day really more than a decade ago?
You are everything I prayed for. Everything I hoped you would be and more. You are a beautiful girl, Daughter. I am so proud of you…how you conduct yourself, what your goals are, how you care about the people in your life.
I love you more than I could ever accurately express with a written word. Have the happiest Birthday ever!