I’m OK, You’re OK

Somedays that’s all we need to know

To Be or Not To Be March 26, 2009

Filed under: family,health,ponderings — meandmom @ 10:22 pm
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Angry that is.   My shrink is trying to convince me to stop being angry at the ex.  The ex that isn’t contributing to the finances right now….or for the past year.  The ex that didn’t show up to our family counseling session.  The ex that has yet to give The Daughter a birthday present.  The ex that tries to play all high and mighty with me regarding his visitation with the girls.  The ex that allows his girlfriend to discipline the girls when they are in his home.  The ex that closed down his business so he could file for support modification.  The ex that is costing me huge amounts of money in legal fees.

But I am angry.  I am angry that he continues to try to control me through the girls.  I am angry that he has the audacity to talk down to me and yell at me when I’m the one that keeps the girls clothed and fed and housed.  I am angry that he hurts them by his selfishness.  I am angry that he leaves me to care for their financial needs all by myself.

I don’t dwell in my anger.  But if I have to think about it or discuss it, it rises to the surface very quickly.   To be really honest, I feel like if I let go of my anger, it will be letting him get away with his behavior.  I want him held accountable.  I don’t know how to walk away from that need.

I realize that my children shouldn’t see my anger and I really try hard to not put any focus on it.  The reality of the situation is that they have a crumb of a dad.  They know it.  I know it.  I try not to stand in the way of their relationship with their dad, but I also struggle with the idea that they might be developing unhealthy ideas about what love is.  I don’t want them to think that they have to accept his bad behavior just because they share his DNA.

For more than 20 years I tried to figure out how to have a relationship with my dad who also financially abandoned me.  I don’t count on him for financial support now, but the same selfish choices that led him to ignore my financial needs as a kid are the one that cause him to emotionally abandon me now.  Oh how I would love to shield my girls from a lifetime of banging their heads against a wall.  I don’t suppose I can though.

That makes me angry too.

-The Mom


ACHOO! March 25, 2009

Filed under: health,Uncategorized — meandmom @ 4:32 pm
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Throat closing….head pounding…..that’s how I feel today.

But I want to say HI to all the new friends from Where’s My Damn Answer! These lovely ladies asked me to write a guest post over on their blog. If you’re not familiar…..go check them out…they are a great group of gals with lots of fun things to talk about….food, exercise, giggles…it’s all there. Bring your glass of wine or shot of tequila and settle in for some good reads. Oh, and today I have asked the group to help me with a very important question. Go put in your two cents…I need your help too!

In the meantime, I will be snuggled into bed hiding out until this cold goes away.

-The Mom


amazing but nobody’s happy March 23, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — meandmom @ 5:56 pm

I love funny and poignant at the same time.  And I don’t know about you, but I think Monday is a great day to not take myself so seriously and remember how grand life really is……

Happy Monday!  Go check out Jenny’s other funny stuff at Jenny On The Spot!

-The Mom


From There to Here March 18, 2009

Filed under: love,Uncategorized — meandmom @ 6:05 pm
Tags: , ,

Four years ago today I met a man that would change my life.

It was the first date I had been on in 18 years. That makes me sound old….I’m not really that old.

I was scared. I was nervous. I had no idea what to expect.

He was sweet. And quiet. And interesting. He made me laugh.

There was an instant connection. An instant feeling of security. An instant comfort.

I didn’t go looking for my next “forever” man that night. But I found him anyway. I would never have expected it….honestly, I didn’t even want that.

What do you do when you find the love you’re meant to have even when you aren’t ready for it?

The last 4 years have been full of adventures. The good kind and the bad. We still love each other. Even when he makes me angry, I still want to be with him. Even though I drive him crazy, he can’t bring himself to go.

Now we are trying to figure out what happens next and how to go about the doing of the next. Blending families is a tricky thing and calls for slow, steady movements.

I’m still scared. I’m still nervous. I’m still in love.

Funny how the more things change, the more they stay the same.

-The Mom


Luck of the Irish to Ya! March 17, 2009

Filed under: silliness,Uncategorized — meandmom @ 4:23 pm

An Irish man goes to the pub one day and orders three pints of Guinness. He takes sips from each glass until they are empty and asks the bartender for three more. The bartender says, ‘I can bring ya 3 more but wouldn’t you rather I bring them one at a time so they stay cold?”

‘Nah…’ the man says, ‘ I’d rather ya bring three at a time.  Me and my two brothers used to meet at a pub and drink. Now one is in Australia, the other in Canada and I’m here. We agreed before we split up that we’d drink to each other’s honour this way.’

‘Well,’ says the bartender, ‘that’s a great sentiment.  I’ll bring the 3 pints right away.’

As the days go by, the bartender and the regulars get accustomed to the tradition.  One day the man comes in and orders only two pints. The pub gets quiet. Everyone figures something happened to one of the brothers.  With a heavy heart, the bartender brings the two pints and says, ‘Here are your pints. Let me offer my sincerest condolences. Do ya mind me askin’ what happened?’

The  man looks puzzled for a moment, and then starts laughing.

‘Oh, no! ‘Tis nothing like that.  I’ve given up drinking for Lent!’

An Old Irish Blessing
May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life’s passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours!

Happy St. Patricks’ Day

-The Mom

*with help from http://www.islandireland.com


Make Me Laugh Monday – Mammograms March 16, 2009

Not that Mammograms are particularly funny in and of themselves….BUT….

My mom and I were discussing mine while she visited from Cali this past weekend.  We were gathered around the kitchen island and the girls and the SO were hangin’ with us.   This is a snippet of the conversation:

Littlest: Mama, why do they call it a Mammogram?

S.O.: (completely serious) Because women are called Ma’am.

WHAT? Oh yes he did!

Now….pop on over to Jenny on the Spot for more Monday laughter!

-The Mom


Have You Seen My Head? March 13, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — meandmom @ 6:51 pm

I’m in a cold sweat this morning my internet friends!  I have an unexpected visitor headed to my house today and it (my home) is a disaster.

My wonderful mother, who for some reason insists on only calling my landline, left me a message reminding me that she was arriving this weekend.  Mmmm WHAT!!!!???????

Two problems….

1)  I don’t use my landline and usually forget to check for messages there.

2) I don’t remember planning this weekend with my mother.  AT. ALL.

So, I am plotting how on earth I will get home before she arrives and sweep and mop and clean bathrooms and vaccum before she can land on my doorstep.   Now, thankfully I have a sister who lives locally that picked up dear old mom at the airport last night and they are spending the day together today.  Lest my little sister think I’m a complete doof…I carefully crafted a schedule that will give me exactly 1 hour to get my tornado under wraps without letting on that I had NO IDEA that mom was in town this weekend.  Can’t tarnish the reputation, ya know.

The big monkey wrench is the grocery shopping.  Two very necessary supplies must always be on hand during a MOM visit.

1) Cheetos

2) white wine

Neither of which are in my house unless she is there.  I’m more of a red wine and cheese and cracker girl.  I also have to get dinner supplies, and breakfast supplies. Hmmmm…..I might have to rope in S.O. (significant other) for that one!

So, Where am I?  At work!  What am I doing?  Writing a blog post!  Neither of which gets me one step closer to the arrival of mom.  Does this add up to any common sense?  Well, probably to all you other bloggers. 🙂

Happy Weekend!

-The Mom