I was listening to the Today show play in the background on TV as I was getting ready for the day this morning.
The subject: Nadya Suleman and her mother. Apparently, the two of them had a televised conversation which became heated and uncomfortable. Nadya’s mother was trying to express to her daughter that having 8 babies at once on top of the 6 that are already at home, maybe wasn’t the best decision.
Nadya’s response to her mom was that she needed to “learn to let it go”. Wow. Really? Ummmm…..where are those first 6 children currently living? That would be At. Her. Mother’s House!
If Nadya was going to expect her mother and father to help raise her children….shouldn’t she have felt it necessary to request the option of adding 8 more? 1 more even?
Truthfully, I’m not sure who holds the original responsibility in this situation. Some are pointing fingers at the doctor that planted the maximum legally allowed embryos. I can understand that, to an extent. Some are pointing their fingers at Nadya. I can understand that completely! Personally, however, I’m kinda wondering what parent allows this kind of dependency to develop between them and their children in the first place?
Isn’t it our responsibility as parents to raise our children to be independent, contributing adults? Clearly there is an environment that has been nurtured in this situation that allowed Nadya to believe it would be okay to impose upon her parents in such an amazingly intrusive and overwhelmingly life changing capacity.
I look at today’s society and I see parents that love their children and want to give them what was not available during their own upbringings. We want our kids to play on Select Soccer teams and compete at state wide gymnastics in a way that was nonexistent 15 years ago. I know girls that The Daughter attended elementary school with who in 4th and 5th grade were taking vocal coaching because they like to sing. Uh….whatever happened to school/church choir?
I see 10 year olds with iPhones and Seven jeans. There are TVs and video game consoles in their bedrooms. Ski trips in February and Hawaii in spring.
I guess it’s all wonderful if you are affluent and can give that to your kids, but I wonder if we are teaching a level of expectancy that is unreasonable and unhealthy.
Somewhere along the way, spanking became horrific….it never was utilized much in my household, but boy oh boy….knowing that was a possibility kept us kids in line! (most of the time) It was a consequence. Oh, and things had to be earned. And big-time vacations were usually for mom and dad only….when the family took a vacation it was in a tent!
I think we need to really think about what we are teaching our children about their contributions to society and about their own responsibility.
Now, I’m not saying that there are no kids out there that are appreciative or responsible. The Nadya Suleman case is clearly the extreme. I just wonder what the generations that are currently coming of age will understand their legacy to be. So far, I don’t know that my generation is showing them the best example of how to do that.
Stepping off soapbox in 3…2….1