I’m OK, You’re OK

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Universe Say Wha? November 4, 2008

Filed under: family,ponderings,ZombieMom — meandmom @ 8:00 pm
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I always find it interesting that the very moment I decide to dedicate myself to something that takes discipline, the universe really tries to stand in my way.  It never fails. When I’m trying to take on a new excercise program or a committee leadership position or what have you, everything possible to upset my ability to succeed will crop up.  Case in point…..

I committed to participate in Soul Coaching.  I did this for me.  You see, tomorrow I turn 40.  For the past couple of years, most especially the last year, I have been struggling with my direction.  I have questioned myself a ton and lost a certain amount of confidence.  Never before in my life have I felt this way.  When I found the blog for the Soul Coaching journey, I thought maybe this would be good for me.  It started on November 1, the first day of the first month of my 40th year.  I thought maybe this process would help me clear my mind and find my focus.  I didn’t find out about it until right before the month started but I bought my book and got ramped up for starting the discovery of what was lurking around in my soul.

Then, the Universe said “WHA?”  You don’t get to do something for you!  Want proof?  Let me show you! 

The Ex will decide to forfeit his weeking with the Girls.  Yes, the weekend that I thought I could be quiet and meditate and start my journey.  It was a most dramatic weekend that required a lot of hand holding, snuggling with broken hearts on the couch, and trips into the City to take our minds to something better.  OK. 

Just a couple of days behind now on Monday.  So, tonight I will hunker down and catch up.  Universe say “WHA?”  Let me show you….the dog will cut its paw, bleed all over the new carpet, all over the car, all over the animal hospital’s waiting area.  Dinner will burn in the oven and you’ll come home exhausted, stressed, and needing the comfort of a lovely glass of red which will then put you to sleep on the couch instead of searching your soul.  HA! AND we’ll throw in a pinch of more family drama from the Ex, just for good measure.

I am determined to catch up to the rest of the group at Soul Coaching.  I’m sorry for dragging behind.  I will bring up the rear though!  No matter how loud the Universe yells.  I’m gonna yell back “Oh No You Di-int!”

-The Mom

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11 Responses to “Universe Say Wha?”

  1. Danette Says:

    You are in good company. Whether you are on day 1 or day 21, your commitment to do something for yourself is powerful enough to be life changing.

    I’m wondering if this is the Universe’s way of playfully provoking a little of that “Oh No You Di-int!” energy from you? Sounds like there is a lot of juice in there.

    Welcome!

  2. Genie Sea Says:

    No matter how many obstacles, it is clear you are stronger than them. Your commitment comes singing through. Be kind to yourself. You have dealt with what needs to be dealt with and you did it with flair. Oh yes you did! 🙂

  3. pen* Says:

    my oh my, the universe does seem to be testing your resilience, but aren’t you proving strong!
    i look forward to sharing this journey with you!

  4. loverawfood Says:

    Take a deep breath. I will hold your vision with you. Wherever you are is just perfect.

  5. Headless Mom Says:

    I remember the days of the ex dropping the ball and having to stop everything to pick up the pieces. So sorry!

  6. Jamie Says:

    Whether you dive in on day 5 or day 28, whether you do a task or just intend to, know that you are on this journey with us. Take your time. The book is here. We’re here.

    I hope you have a wonderful birthday, full of love and giggles and joy.

  7. Lisa Says:

    First off, Happy Birthday! 40! It was a soul searcher for me, those big round numbers just set off the mind in a certain direction ….

    Welcome to the catch-up game. I spent the day catching up myself (and didn’t quite get there either) so just know that no matter how many obstacles get in your way, I’m out here probably going even slower than you – look back and wave hi to me sometime, will ya?

    I love the humor – humor overcomes all resistance ~ it flows in places men reject and so is like the Tao ~ to paraphrase …

  8. Kate I Says:

    Don’t worry about starting late or not keeping up – it’s not about doing it perfectly! Just do what you can when you can. You have lots on your plate and as Jamie says, The book is still here and we’re still here too.

    Have a great birthday!

  9. Katie Says:

    This sounds a lot like living life on life’s terms. If I had a choice I would take the whole month off to do this program. Just remember, you don’t have to do it perfectly! Be patient with life and learn from what it is showing you!

  10. celticbuffy Says:

    I am experiencing the same thing! I finally decide to do something to help me figure out myself and all sorts of obstacles start popping up to exhaust and drain me, leaving me struggling to find the time and energy to work on me. Hang in there! We’ll make it to the end together with this wonderful group that is supporting us and sharing this journey!

  11. DANIEL Says:

    YOU ARE NOT ALONE. THERE ARE MANY OF US STARTING OVER. BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS, HEARTS TORN INTO, THE TEARS AND FEARS OF OUR CHILDREN AND FOR OURSELVES. I’VE LEARNED A FEW THINGS OVER THE PAST 2 YEARS ON MY JOURNEY TO FIND MYSELF ONCE AGAIN AFTER DIVORCE. “LET GO”, LET GO OF CONTROL OVER THE EX, FOR YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER HIM. ONLY OVER YOURSELF, ASK YOUR SELF WHAT YOU, YOURSELF, ARE DOING TO CONTRIBUTE TO SOME THE THE TEARS AND FEARS OF YOUR CHILDREN? IF YOU ARE HONEST WITH YOURSELF YOU WILL ADMIT, IF ONLY TO YOURSELF, YOUR PART IN THIER TEARS. INSTEAD, TRY TO FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN DO TO BENEFIT, AND ACTUALLY HELP YOUR CHILDREN ( AND HELP YOUR EX WITH YOUR CHILDREN. AS HARD AS THAT IS TO SWALLOW) THROUGH THIS DIFFICULT TIME. IT IS HARD TO LET GO OF THAT CONTROL, BELIEVE ME, I KNOW. BUT, WHEN YOU DO, YOUR CHILDREN, AND YOU WILL BENEFIT. YOUR CHILDREN DESERVE TO KNOW THEY ARE LOVED AND WANTED BY BOTH OF YOU. YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL WHAT YOU DO AND SAY, AND BELIEVE ME, THEY WILL REMEMBER WHO SAYS WHAT. THE SIMPLE WORDS “LET GO’, CAN, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, SET YOU FREE AS WELL. YOU CAN NOT MOVE ON WITH YOUR NEW LIFE AND YOUR OWN PIECE OF MIND UNTIL YOU CUT THOSE EMOTIONAL TIES YOU CONTINUE TO HOLD ONTO. THE TRICK ? SELF DISCIPLINE-PERIOD. THE CONFIDENCE COMES IN TIME. THE SO CALLED DRAMA COMES TO AN END. YOU NO LONGER QUESTION YOURSELF. YOU ARE FREE! GOOD LUCK TO YOU
    IN YOUR QUEST TO FIND TRUE PEACE.


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