Lately I’ve been struggling with what i though life would be. I read this post from Conversion Diary and it really socked it to me today. I had thought I found “my calling”….to be the best mom I could be. When I got divorced my definition of what that looked like really had to change. Going back to work was something I didn’t want to do. Ever. I am not a child of my generation. I could care less for career paths and professional success. Don’t get me wrong, I loves me some hard work and a successful endeavor. I just always wanted those activities to be involved with volunteering in school, church or community.
My idea of a great mom was someone that was always available when needed. Cookies and milk after school. Helping in the classroom and going on field trips. Clean house. Clean clothes. Knowing all of my kids’ friends and their families. For my own little house, I did not think I could be a great mom if I spent the majority of my day working.
I have to admit, there are many days that I am jealous and resentful of the SAHMs in my neighborhood. I don’t like shoving ALL my mommying into the hours between 6 and 9 pm while also cooking, cleaning, and laundering. I know it’s not YOUR fault. It’s still not fair. Oh! Everyone say hi to the 5 year old that I just morphed into for a second.
I have been feeling that “my purpose” had been yanked away from me. Jen reminded me that I really just need to re-define what a great mom is. So….how many things can we list that define a great mom? I’ll start!
1. Surviving with a smile on my face and hope in my heart one day at a time
2. Teaching my children to work on my team instead of against it
3. Always remembering to say I love you at the end of the day. And in the middle. And in the beginning.
4. Knowing that 3 hours of really good mommying is just as good as 12 hours of really good mommying
Also….what is a great mom NOT?
1. Someone who feels a slave to the gourmet dinner menu
2. Someone who worries more about the cleanliness of her house than the joyfulness of her kids
3. Someone who hides jealousy and self pity in her heart
(By the way, the NOT list isn’t to judge others so much as it is to help me let go and re-define. Slave away Martha, slave away).
Can you help me add to my list? I think I need the village as much as my girls do!
Oh and a very big THANKS to my immediate village. My friends and neighbors that watch my kids at a moment’s notice, even when they are sick. The ones who share a glass of wine or two or five ok just two let me come and vent when I need to. Who remind me when I’ve left my garage door open. Who let me borrow things from their kitchen so I don’t have to run to the grocery store. etc., etc, etc, You know who you are! I truly could not have lived through the last 4 redefining years without you!