The Pull of the Tides November 26, 2008

The Soul Coaching group is affirming that we are in harmony with the natural rhythms of life.  I remember when I was in college, my mom was researching bio-rhythms.  She asked me if I ever noticed that at the end of every year I go through a “funk”.  Hmmm…..I hadn’t, but she was absolutely right.  The weird thing is that fall is my favorite season.  I love watching the trees turn colors and the crispness that comes in the air.  I love the need for a fire in the hearth and a warm cup of soup.  I love that fall brings football season (even though this season has been a complete bust if you are a fan of any team that plays in the state of Washington!). 

My significant other pointed out this morning that I am being very resistant to spending time with family over the holiday.  As I considered today’s reading, I had to admit that he was right.  I am feeling that fall funk and wanting to control things by being mopey.  It’s not a very constructive way of dealing with my funk but it is my default setting.  So, I will shake it off and realize that sometimes being in tune with the tides of nature doesn’t always mean submitting to them but respecting, accepting and then choosing action.

I guess that means I’ll be going to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in Seattle bright and early on Friday morning with the rest of my family …..yuckcan’t wait!

-The Mom

Walking Tall November 25, 2008

Today for Soul Coaching our affirmation is my body is incredibly strong and healthy.   Mmmmmkay…….If you say so.  Now that I’ve cleared my head a bit over the past few weeks, it is definitely time to take the step of clearing my body.  But we have had back-to-back birthday celebrations, one a week since Halloween.  This week is Thanksgiving…the most wonderful day of the whole calendar if you ask me.  It certainly is NOT the week I want to think about how strong and healthy I feel.

That being said, I did do a Pilates workout yesterday  

I do walk tall and carry myself with confidence.  I appear as if I feel great about myself.  I am also learning that intention is very important so I’m going to keep telling myself that I am incredibly strong and healthy….strong enough to actually get up early to work out…..healthy enough to only eat 1 piece of pie on Thursday.  In other words….I’m going to fake it ’till I make it.

Mom flies into town tomorrow and it will be hard to blog for a few days…..so, Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  I hope that your day is full of laughter and your belly is full of food.

-The Mom

My House, My Home November 24, 2008

It is Earth week on the Soul Coaching journey.  Today we are challenged to examine our physical selves.  Uggggh!  Why do we women struggle with this? Right now I’m not thrilled with my physical self.  Ever since the summer I have been trying to stick to a consistant workout schedule.  I just don’t seem to be able to do it.  I don’t worry so much about the number I see on the scale.  I seem to be able to control it okay, even if it is about 10 pounds heavier than I want it.  But ever since I started working full time, I just have a hard time having energy or desire or time all line up at the same time.  And now I feel sluggish and weak and jiggely.  My jeans that I used to love to put on, now make me cringe.  Yikes.  So once again I will commit to a routine.  It’s extra challenging this time of year, but probably even more improtant.

Some other things I need to get on the calendar:  My first mamogram…oh yeah, I’m forty.  I also need to have my wisdom tooth removed.  Yup…just one…that’s all I got but it’s got to go.  I also would like to get blood work done to determine my hormone levels to figure out if my diet is lacking in anything.  Finally, I need to visit the right doctor to evaluate my knees.  They hurt too much for a gal my age!

So there it is….as I started this process by de-cluttering my home (the one where my body resides), I will end it de-cluttering my house (the one where my soul resides).

-The Mom

Sticks and Stones…and So There! November 23, 2008

I received the following comment on my blog this morning.  I haven’t been writing this week as I was out of town on a very yuppy style birthday celebration.  When I got back home the girls and I ran head first into some major family drama.  I was up almost the entire night either holding them while they sobbed or wondering with worry how the recent events would play out over their lives.  When I checked in on my blog comments today I was surprised to see any since I hadn’t written anything.  To find the message below however, was kind of a blow.

laura
craddlelover@yahoo.com | 71.231.200.118

you sound like a yuppie snob i cant wait to read more life must really suck at your beautiful beach house your ungrateful for what u have no wonder your never happy

So, it was interesting to me that the Soul Coaching activity for the day was to pass along a random act of kindness.  In that vain, I am wishing Laura the CraddleLover a day of peace and harmony.  I hope whatever hurts in her life that makes her troll the internet leaving crumbs of hatred along the way turns itself into a big fat hug full of sparkly giggles.  I really do.  I hope you all email her a little love note to make her day feel happy. 

In the meantime, I will thank the person whose BeachHouse I use.  They are very kind to let the girls and I go up there when we need to change our scenery.  I will also wrap my arms around those two beautiful beings I get to call daughters and tell them how lucky I am to be their mom and how amazingly grateful I am for them.  Every. Single. Day.  Then I will smile.  Because no matter how hard my life is in a given moment I have the inner happiness of knowing that I am OK.

-The Mom

Water, Water Everywhere November 13, 2008

It has been raining all week here in the Pacific Northwest.  No surprise there, I guess.  But Soul Coaching Water Week has really swept in.  Today our goal is to “do nothing”.  I guess I’ve been practicing this for the past couple of days.  Something about all the rain took me from the great highs of last week and diluted them.  I am feeling water logged. 

Once again, I decided to move towards something and then felt the universe push back against me.  I came up with my personal mission statement.  When I finish writing it, I was excited to begin each day with purposeful energy.  Instead, every morning this past week I have awoken feeling like I hadn’t slept long enough or well enough.  I know that this is just my own inner resistance.  Do I really want this mission?  What happens if I don’t live up to it and nothing changes?  I also know that I do just need to see past those doubtful thoughts and keep my eye on the goal.  I saw through last week’s experiences that intention will bring result. 

So, I’m pushing through.  I’m not floating like I was during Air week.  I am swimming against the tide.  But I will see you on the other side of this big puddle! 

-The Mom

uugghh… November 11, 2008

Okay so I woke up this morning, got up, and hit the wall.  Not literally.  I didn’t get out of bed and hit a hard, solid wall.  I hit THE wall…  For the whole day I have been tired.  I forgot my gym clothes in my backpack which was in my locker.  Yea funny story.  I thought I left my gym clothes in my gym locker.  I get there, open it.  It’s not there.  I thought maaybe I left it in the Chorus room because I have chorus right after gym.  Not there.  I feel anxiety growing in my stomach.  The kind I get when I lose something important.  LIKE MY GYM CLOTHES!  So, I didn’t realize they were in my backpack, so for the third time this year I went to PE in my regular clothes.  I was, like, crying in the locker rooms because I was so embarrassed.  Ask one of my friend that I can’t mention her name.  She’s tell you I was.  So really I went through all that stress and embarrassment to find out what exactly?  That the answer to my problems were IN MY LOCKER!  I hate these kinds of days where something bad happens and your stressed for the rest of the day… *Sigh*

-The Daughter

Turn Around Bright Eyes November 10, 2008

What a wonderful weekend…quiet, relaxing, bonding…just perfect.  I listened to the waves of Puget Sound roll against the shore and closed my eyes and lifted my face to feel the misty raindrops falling.  I was surrounded by water!  It was refreshing and cleansing and grounding.

When I got back home in my mailbox was a late birthday card from my favorite aunt.  In it she wrote “women have a very specific kind of courage that enables them to fling themselves into the open sea”.  How amazing was that on our first day of Water week?!  Her sentiment mirrored what I have been finding in my own heart lately.  Courage and Bravery and Risk and Endless Possibility. 

Today in Soul Coaching we were asked to examine the turning points of our lives and what kinds of emotions we associate with those times.  Here are a few of mine:

• My family’s move from Illinois to California when I was 10
• Spending a summer as an exchange student in Ecuador
• Putting myself through college
• Getting divorced

Each of those times, and the other turning points that I haven’t mentioned, took courage and bravery and risk.  They also involved many different emotions.  I notice a pattern however of aloneness.  Is that a word?  Not loneliness…Alone-ness.  The two seem different to me.  I don’t know how I feel about that.  Was I alone because I didn’t want to let anyone in?  Do I just thrive off independence?  I notice that I’m not super connected to my community and my community often changes.  I tend to maintain a very small group of loved ones.  This is something I will have to continue to think about.

On a positive side, my mission statement is beginning to form:

My purpose is to strive to be the best that I can be in every moment (that doesn’t mean perfect, just the best I can be right then).  To live each day with intent and do everything with purpose.  To create an environment for my daughters and myself that is stable, positive, and centered.  To always seek that feminine courage that allows me to fling myself to the open sea.  To love with an open and accepting heart.

It’s a start anyway!

-The Mom

Mission Impossible November 9, 2008

Oh no….the end of the link list…. I have nothing else to do but post now.  Today’s Soul Coaching activity is one I’d rather avoid….coming up with a mission statement.  Oh I’ve started this process before…with Stephen Covey’s book about Effective Families, the book The Purpose Filled Life, with my church family (we do this every 4 years).  I have NEVER been able to truly come up with a mission statement.  I’ve wanted to.  It just seems SO. BIG.  How does one put the purpose of their life in words?  Words significant enough to encapsulate what their life on this earth was to be? Are my goals worthy enough?  Big enough?  What if I fail?  What if I don’t achieve what I set out to do?  What is it that makes my time here worth it? 

So, I read every other link in the Soul Coaching group before I posted.  I was looking for some guidance, some wisdom, some answers.  One of the things I’m supposed to be doing today is listening  to or being aware of messages being given to us.  That’s exactly what I got!  I learned that I don’t need to know exactly who I am or where I’m going.  I can be as simple or defined as I’m currently inspired to be.

Thank you to those that show me the way.  Thank you to each and every one of you that support me and the Daughter and leave comments that validate and reassure us.  I still don’t know exactly how to define my personal mission.  I will be listening and looking for messages that will lead me in the right direction.  I will focus on defining my mission statement over the week.  I welcome the cleansing and refreshing that comes with water (our element for the week).  And, as Megg pointed out to me, I am so blessed to be spending the weekend ending air week and starting water week at my beloved BeachHouse where air and water prevail!

-The Mom

Do You Believe in Magic? November 7, 2008

I have felt a wonderful rush this past week as I’ve started decluttering my heart and mind on my Soul Coaching journey.  Today’s affirmation resounds:  I am safe and centered no matter where I am.  The ups and downs, twists and turns of the past year have wrought havoc on my inner self.  Yet, as I really become aware of the place that I’m in, I see that the chaos was not from within me.  Everything in my heart, everything in my home has actually been safe.    The havoc came from the outside and I allowed it to enter.  Over the past 6 days, I have focused on releasing the clutter that came with the chaos.  I absolutely feel lighter.  I feel more solid on my foundation.  I am ready for all the magic…all the possibility….that can come in and fill up those spaces that chaos once filled. 

There are still troubling events, hurdles to overcome, emotions to work through.  But the fear is gone, the lack of confidence is subsiding.  I am finding my authentic self again.  This is exactly what I had hoped that this process would bring.

I am happy to be able to end the week at the BeachHouse on Whidbey Island.  It is a place of peace and serentity.  We always see amazing creation when we are there….sea lions, eagles, mountains, water.  It is definitely my retreat, my safe place.  This weekend it will just be the girls and I.  I can’t wait for just some mom and daughter time!  It has been a busy and emotional week and the three of us are much in need of a quiet weekend of stormy beach walks, reading by the fire, walking through the cute seaside town of Langley and talking into the night.  I love knowing that the environment I create for me, is their environment as well and we are safe and centered and loved by a God that watches over us.

This will be the view from our window this weekend….. Can you feel the magic?

The Mom

The End of the Day November 7, 2008

I haven’t had much time for reflection today.  I did appreciate all the imagery left by others in the Soul Coaching group.  I wandered through a newly de-cluttered studio and sat on an outdoor bench sipping tea and letting the balmy wind play with my hair.  I also stood by a fire and enjoyed the warmth of the burning, discarded papers.  Thank you, my friends, for those images that gave me fresh and invigorating energy and gave me the resources to get through my day.

I did go to my daughter’s 2nd choral performance tonight that was in combination with all the middle schools in the district, the high school, and one of the elementary schools.  It was such a joy to watch and listen to that big group of youthful voices.  They were led by another great director….we are so fortunate in our district!  I have never before seen highschoolers and middle schoolers have so much fun with choir.  These kids were truly joyful in what they were doing.  I was filled to the brim with fresh invigorating energy.  Music moves me so deeply and I love to sing.  It restores my soul and lets the down energy out and the up energy in.  It declutters those emotions that I can’t put a name or reason to.

I don’t often post pictures of my family due to the fact that I have young kids, but in celebration of my birthday, here we are minus The Artist who is at school on the other side of the state…..we missed you and your beautiful smile! The Diva, The Daughter, The Boyfriend, Me, The Littlest.

-The Mom